


This desire to possess him is a wound

by TotemundTabu



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Asha Greyjoy/Jeyne P., Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I tried to be funny, Implied frotting, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 14:11:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11533884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TotemundTabu/pseuds/TotemundTabu
Summary: PROMPT: Throbb : They are always so close and clingy that everybody assume that they're together even if it's not the case (yet). They are quite oblivious. + how Theon used to tease Robb about his size (him being taller and older), but Robb is now quite cocky and he teases a lot Theon now that he got taller after his puberty. it can be sexy (or not).  - Hope you will like it!! I loved these ideas!  :D I kept it not explicit, which is not my usual, but I hope you will like it!





	This desire to possess him is a wound

**PROMPT:** Throbb : They are always so close and clingy that everybody assume that they're together even if it's not the case (yet). They are quite oblivious. + how Theon used to tease Robb about his size (him being taller and older), but Robb is now quite cocky and he teases a lot Theon now that he got taller after his puberty. it can be sexy (or not). -  **NOTES:** Hope you will like it!! I loved these ideas! -  **TITLE:** From Her to Eternity, Nick Cave  & The Bad Seeds

 

* * *

 

**This desire to possess him is a wound**

 

* * *

 

 

Sansa poked Jon's arm, insistently.

Jon bent, tilting a bit to make sure to reach her height, “Yes?”

She whispered, “Did you see Robb this morning?”

“Uh. No. - he frowned – I think he is still sleeping.”

She nodded, slowly, then mouthed, murmuring, “Theon is with him.”

Jon's eyes widened.

“He stayed over?”

“Yes. - she confirmed, low-voiced – And they didn't ask for permission from mom and dad, so...”

“...so they probably fell asleep before.”

“Or didn't want to ruin the atmosphere.”

Jon dropped his mouth, “Do you think that.... finally...”

“It's been years. I would hope so... - Sansa frowned, looking at Robb's bedroom door – Do you think that...”

“Theon topped? I think so.”, Jon blurted out.

Sansa turned to him, very slowly and very perplexed, “No. I was about to ask if you think we should move away to be less suspicious when they wake up for breakfast.”

“Oh. - Jon coughed – It's not like I thought about Theon in that way, you know.”

“I wish I could still believe that. - she sighed – Also, I mean, how can you be so sure?”

“I don't know, it's... I'm a boy, I know boy things.”

“Jon. - Sansa put a hand on his shoulder and looked warmly into his eyes – No.”

“What does no even mean?”, he blurted out.

A bit too loudly.

The door opened and they almost fell on each other while trying to disappear; out the door Theon came out slowly, yawning. He still had his shirt and boxers on, no immediate signs of hickeys or bruises, not even sweaty.

Jon squinted his eyes in suspicion, Sansa turned to him as if to ask for confirmation of what she had noticed. Or, better, the lack of it.

Then Robb came out of the room, shirtless but with his very long and unsexy blue pyjama pants. He moved behind Theon and put his arms around his neck, making him bow a bit.

“Ohi. Were you thinking of going down to get breakfast without me?”

Theon smirked, smug, malicious, and turned. His glance was warm, he put a hand on Robb's waist.

“That was the plan, yeah.”

Sansa and Jon looked at each other again, confused more than before.

Robb snorted, “You have a thing on your face, wait.”, he said, licking his thumb and passing it on Theon's face. And Theon laughed.

Theon.

Theon would freak out if Rickon touched his hair or Bran his clothes.

“Thank you, mommy.”, Theon chuckled, a bit too softly.

Sansa was about to scream.

Robb turned to her, blinking, “What are you two doing here?”

Jon emitted a long series of strangled “Oh. Umh. Emh.” while sweating. Sansa, realizing counting on her older brother was hopeless, stood up and made the most distressed little sigh she could think of, letting her shoulders down.

“I lost an earring, Jon was helping me but I can't find it at all. - she sucked her lips, sadly – I think maybe one of the dogs ate it or mistook it for a toy.”

It was Theon who moved towards here, drying her tears.

“There, there, when you cry you look like a child. - he turned to Robb – Start putting on some coffee, I'll help her here.”

Robb frowned, almost offended, but didn't complain.

Jon made a quick gesture to Sansa pointing before at her and Theon and then at himself and Robb, after which he grabbed their brother and lead him to the kitchen very quickly to start asking questions; Sansa waited a bit longer, Theon was looking at the ground and in the small space between the wooden boards of the parquet.

“Theon... - she gulped slowly – Can I ask you something?”

Theon didn't look at her, bent over the wood, looking in corners, “Sure. - he mumbled – Is it about sex?”

Sansa stiffed, “I, I mean it doesn’t have to be about that...”

“You're asking while your brothers are away. - he raised his head and looked at her – Just tell me it's not that blond prick.”

“No, no! - she moved her hands and fidgeted nervously – It was more relating to Robb.”

“Uh?”

“Like... - she tilted her head to point and where her brothers had disappeared – You know?”

Theon frowned, confused, raising up, “Well, he didn't tell me anything. - he shrugged – I supposed if he does it, he will. - he gave a small pump on her shoulder – I'll keep you updated but I don't know if it's the type of thing he would want his little sister to know.”

Ha gave the most knowingly smile without having understood absolutely anything.

Sansa wondered if all boys were like that or just the ones in her life.

 

*

 

“Cat, I beg of you... - Eddard asked, extremely slowly, his voice soft and hoarse – We need to react to this in a very thoughtful way.”

Catelyn shook her head, holding her elbows tight. She bit her lips, moved with big strides up and down the room, breathing heavily.

“No, no, this I can't digest.”

Eddard groaned, gulping dryly, “He is our son, it's a delicate topic, we need to make sure he knows we love him.”

“He knows already. - she replied, abruptly – And it's not like you're the explicit parent, usually.”

“I know.- he looked at her, almost hurt, then moved close to her and took her hands in his own – But, Cat, think about how it was when we had to tell about us to my brother. How scared we were... he is living the same fear now.”

“I know. - she sighed – But I also know my baby, this is just a phase.”

Eddard stared at her, blinking slowly, then looked at her intensely, “Honey... he's been obsessed with Theon since he was four.”

Catelyn glared at him, “Ned, that boy is just confused. Theon is just... you know, a power fantasy. He's charming, but...”

Eddard gave out a strangled sound, “I don't think that's how it works. - he sighed – Look, dear, we should be happy. We're lucky.”

“Lucky? From all the existing words in your vocabulary is “lucky” the one you'd pick?”

“He could be going out with somebody we don't even know, with flings and... casual sex. - he moved his hand to the window confusedly – There’s a big world out there and...people do stuff. Our kid has a crush on a childhood friend, sure, Theon is not... perfect, but we’ve known him since always, he's good at school, he's a smart guy, he doesn't do drugs, if he drinks too much he doesn't drive, he... - he moves his head a bit – Well, he has a lot of sex, but at least I'm pretty sure he knows what a condom, given the population of the town hasn’t raised exponentially since he turned fourteen.”

Catelyn held herself by the elbows, giving an unsatisfied look, “I can't believe I have to explain why this is not actually comforting, Ned.”

“If we lived... in the middle ages, in the fifties even, I'd agree with you on being prudent. - he sighed – But... buttercup...”

Catelyn pouted, “Don't call me that when we fight...”, she complained, not firmly at all, softening the grip of her hands on her arms.

Eddard smiled and held her tight, “In the age we are, it's more risky to let him feel he can't tell us things, rather than anything else. Also people are more open-minded... it won't be so bad for him.”

She sighed, “Couldn't he at least like someone better?”

“Like who? - he chuckled – The creepy neighbour guy who looks like he has a backpack full of cats’ heads?”

She seemed to agree.

“That guy is so creepy.”

“Also, Theon is pretty. - Eddard shrugged – At least we know Robb inherited some good taste.”

Catelyn turned to him, suspicious, then let out a small smile, “Silly.”

Robb opened the door and stared at his parents, “...when I told you I needed to talk I didn't think I would have had you waiting at the entrance like that. - he gave a nervous laugh – I promise I didn't kill anyone.”

“We'd love you anyway. - Eddard repeated nervously, trying to remember by heart the speeches he had found as “perfect answers to your son coming out” on the internet – We will always support you and it's okay by us. It's very normal and perfectly natural.”

“...murder?”

Catelyn coughed and looked at her frowning, confused son.

“Your father is a bit over caffeinated. - she cleared her voice – What did you want to tell us about, sweetie?”

“Well. - he coughed, scratches his nape, Eddard held Catelyn's hand a bit tighter, – Theon and I really wanted to go to the movies this weekend. I know I promised to leave you the car this time, but... can I use it? Asha has to use hers and the trains are a bummer.”

Catelyn thanked mentally any saint in the catholic calendar.

Eddard, instead, looked upset.

“Sure, are you two going alone?”

“Promise!”, Robb smiled wide and hugged him.

“No girls or stuff?”, he asked, though looking at his wife.

Robb frowned again, then snorted, “No. If I had a girlfriend, I would tell you.”

 

*

 

The moans got increasingly higher, the voices melting, cracking, shattering like flames against the cold air.

Bran looked at Sansa and Arya, perplexed. “...shouldn't we tell them we can hear it?”

Sansa's cheeks became purple, “I'm not going to tell them.”

“We could scream.”, Arya suggested, trying to focus again on her horror novel.

Bran scoffed, “I mean, they even think we don't know. How would that even be possible?”

Sansa shook her head, staring in the void, as if she had given up. “I don't know”, she just whispered, tiredly.

Arya frowned, “Have they even... said it out loud?”

Sansa looked at her, at the wall Bran was sharing with Robb's room, and then again at Arya, “I have the wild sensation that, to each other, for sure they did.”

“Nowadays people fuck also with friends. - Arya claimed, as if she knew a lot about it – On TV they...”

A moan louder than before, almost... wet. Then a “that felt amazing” said a bit too loudly.

Bran stared at his sisters, “Why?”

Sansa sighed, “In our room it’s worse, we can hear when the bed hits the wall.”

“Gross.”

“It's not gross. - Sansa defended them, or tried to – They are in love. - then she mumbled – I just wish they were in love more silently.”

Arya stood up, “No, that's enough. I'm going to tell them.”

“Arya, no, it will be super embarrassing.”

“And possibly traumatizing for them... like, psychologically speaking.”

Arya glared at both her siblings, “I don't care!”, and she exited the room, followed at a little distance by the other two. She opened the door and...

“Arya, hi!”

“Hi, horseface!”, Theon chuckled.

They were basically dressed, just shirts off, and … Theon was putting oil on Robb's back, way above from where she was sure people had sex.

Robb smiled, “Theon gives sick muscle massages. - he made a weird, sugary laugh – He completely untangled my back.”

“You were a mess after today's match. - Theon complained, then gave him a smirk – You're so damn scrawny, it's like massaging a twig!”

“...well, sorry. - Robb pouted slightly, then looked at Theon's chest, lean but wide, his shoulders, and arms, big due to archery, and yet never ungraceful – Not everyone is you.”

Theon scoffed, “Put one some muscle and you'll pick up chicks too. Maybe I should have left you like that, you should have asked Jeyne to be your nurse.”

“Nah!”, Robb laughed and grabbed Theon by the neck, making him fall over him, quickly. Also Theon laughed.

Arya blinked, then slowly returned to Sansa and Bran, who stared at her, petrified by confusion.

She sat on the bed, shaking her head.

“When you grow up, you lose your brain, clearly.”, she then sentenced, heavily.

 

*

 

“Time went by and it became a joke, we just needed more and more fulfilling...”, Asha hummed, drumming her fingers on the sofa.

She breathed the smoke out.

She should have told him something about it, she knew that much; but she didn't want him to turn it against her nor did she want to risk ruining what little they had as siblings.

She breathed in more. Her cigarette tasted sour and dry on her tongue.

She missed the days when Theon was small and shy and easy to have to deal with – he'd paint with waxy crayons and pet weird homeless cats. He liked vanilla pudding from the supermarket and was fine with her handovers. 

Now he was often... spikey. Somewhat delicate.

Treating him, taking care of him had been hard – especially since their father, well. Yeah.

She wondered how to act with him, often, how to manage to make him feel loved.

It was hard, if not downright impossible, for Theon to take her words as anything other than a critique or attack; but Asha couldn't blame him for that, when she saw their brothers, punching him in the mud, calling him girly or a pussy, his father telling him his wit was a waste, their mother being the only one siding with him. There were days in which Asha remembers herself too, ending up siding with those men against her baby brother.

Because it was easy. Because she was young. Because right and wrong mix up a bit in your head at times.

She should have warned him, but she should also have comforted him, supported him.

There was a part of her who wondered if it was her bisexuality that influenced him – she almost felt guilty about it, dirty, sticky, like hands that have been dirtied in watermelon juices and motor oil – and she wondered if Theon was strong enough to bear the critics, the jokes, the japes, the insults.

Theon, who was not strong enough to actually rebel to his father, like any adolescent... how would have he faced a world of discrimination?

And yet, seeing him with Robb always filled her with the utmost pure hope.

She decided she should have a small, kind of casual talk with him, when he would have returned from Robb's house, where he had slept again.

“Hey, we're back!”, Theon yelled.

We?

She turned and right next to her brother there was Robb, waving his hand almost shyly. Asha still didn't know what that guy thought of her.

“Hello, Robbie. - she showed him a smug look – I see you two are still sewn up together.”

“Ignore her. - Theon scoffed – She's just a bitter dyke.”

She shook her head, “I lift more than you, big guy.”

He seemed ashamed, turned a bit pissed, “Say, is your dating pool straight girls mostly afraid of the real cock so they get a dickless lithe version of a man?”

Robb turned to Theon half-horrified. Asha just snorted, “Oh boy. Aren't you cute? - she chuckled – Some of you really have a hard time thinking a woman may want a pussy and not a cock.”

“Well. - he put a hand on his hips – If I may say so myself, my...”

“...you must be really cock-thirsty to not conceive someone would rather have a nice cunt.”

Theon turned purple, “That's not what I meant!”

“It's how it was implied though.”

Robb swallowed dryly, almost looking nervous, shy, then he mumbled, “Ah, Theon, she's just playing with you a bit. - his voice sounded weak and sour – Nobody doubts you're straight.”

Asha sighed and retreated her claws.

She cursed herself: she did again.

She humiliated him, instead of trying to suggest things in a softer way. She wondered if that made her more like her father than her mother, though the idea sent a vague rotten taste of disgust to her tongue. She wanted to provoke, to give some playful tough love and instead she just made him nervous and wary like a deer.

She gulped down, “Yeah, I was just fucking with you, sorry.”

Theon flinched, then backed away slowly, still keeping his fists clenched. Robb moved to him and took his hand in his own.

Asha's eyes widened. So, they did already come to terms with it, after all.

Theon swallowed nervously and moved the hand away from Robb's, but then put it around his shoulders, protectively, clinging onto him.

“Come, I’ll teach you where the G-spot is. In case you finally decide to ask Jeyne out.”

… or not, apparently.

“How scrawny are you, umh? - Theon mumbled, fondling Robb's ass – You need to put something on here, you're lanky.”

Asha blinked slowly. Robb jumped stiff out of the hold.

“Ah, umh... - he looked away – Dude...”

...well, good to know one of them was starting maybe to get a clue out of that.

Theon frowned, “Did I go too far?”

Asha was very tempted to ask him how he could be so lewd and flirty and so oblivious and dumb at the same fucking time. 

Robb shook his head, “It's just, I mean... not everyone had a growth sprout all at once.”

Asha let out a soft smile but hid it behind a beer can, “I can confirm. Maron was the same.”

Theon seemed to stare at her resentfully, then put his arms around Robb's neck, hugging him from behind, as if he had to keep him safe from her.

 

*

 

Jeyne closed her locker shut. She sighed, at the idea of returning home to her mother. Then her eyes moved slowly and she saw them, at the end of the corridor.

Theon Greyjoy, as handsome as always, jet black hair and a wide smirk. She had friends who would have paid to go out with him – or be with him quickly, given how much he fucked around, probably they would have, sooner or later, end up in his bed anyway – and would collect details and stories from the women he was with : “was he big”, “was he good”, “did he eat you out” and so on.

He had his arm around Robb Stark's shoulders and he was whispering something in his ear.

She stared, a bit too intently, as his lips brushed against the ginger boy's ear. And Robb laughed, touched his chest, ever so slightly, almost in a caress, without actual strength to move him away. Their legs were almost entwined, Robb's crotch so close to Theon's thigh that, had he moved a bit, he would have surely stroked him.

Theon's smirk was different than usual: less provoking and scorching, more kind, more hesitant. Still a grin it was but... actually holding a familiarity and an intimacy Jeyne never saw on him.

And Robb looked at him with fond admiration.

What was there to even admire about Theon Greyjoy? His bed skills? His fashion sense? Sure, he was in the archery and math club for extra credit, but you'd never see him except for actual matches. He always skipped practice.

Unable to commit even to a hobby.

Theon's hand brushed Robb's hip, almost by mistake, almost from hunger.

… were they?

Of course, Jeyne knew bisexuality was a thing but... from someone like Greyjoy.

Then he moved away, giving him a slap on the ass.

And Robb turned to her, all clumsy, feeling clearly out of place and awkward.

Jeyne stared at him, perplexed. He was cute, no doubt but... after what she had witnessed, it was hard to unsee.

She hesitated, “Yes?”

Robb let out a little groan, he looked so embarrassed she could barely bear it herself.

“I, umh, I was wondering...?”

She blinked, “Yes?”

Robb mumbled, “I wanted to ask you out...”

He made another weird sound of distress, like a puppy, his eyes glanced at where Theon was.

Jeyne showed him a small smile, “No, you don't.”

“No... I don't?”, he raised an eyebrow, confused.

“I get it.”, she whispers to him, almost too softly, almost too sweetly and Robb feels his gut twitch and turn.

“...really? - he chuckled – Because I don't.”

She caressed his arm, gently, “You'll get it soon enough, I promise. - then smiled again – Tell him I have a boyfriend, so he won't annoy you about it.”

“Ah, no, Theon... - his voice sounded so hoarse – He means no harm, you know? He's the sweetest guy.”

Jeyne raised an eyebrow, “Theon as in Theon Greyjoy?”

Robb smiled, nodding, “I know but... I grant you, he is really the coolest person I've ever met. And not for what most people like him for.”

Her eyes shone a bit.

“Then he's lucky in having a friend who can see that.”

 

*

 

Robb snorted.

“That's the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”, he scoffed, placing his books back into the shelves.

Jon sighed, “The fact you are in denial doesn't mean that something is actually false, example given - the whole church with the heliocentrism thing.”

Robb turned, raising his eyebrows, not impressed.

“Your poor and undetailed historical example doesn't change reality either. - he let out a small smile – Theon and I are friends, nothing else.”

Arya opened the door, throwing herself in, screaming at Jon, “Sansa said that The Razors Edge is boring and too loud!”

“Outrageous. - Jon faked a certain offence, as if he didn't perfectly know his sister's music taste – How could she say that?”

“I know!”, Arya exclaimed, exasperated, then sat on the bed with Jon, looking before at him then at Robb putting order to his library.

“Is Theon away?”, she asked.

Robb turned, frowning, “Yes, why?”

She shrugged, like it was obvious, “He's not here?”

“It's not like Theon is always here.”, Robb objected, laughing.

“Right. - she raised her eyebrow – When you are at his house, for example. Or together somewhere else.”

Robb groaned, then looked at them and saw Jon glancing at him with the most arrogant 'I told you so' face.

“We're best friends, we spend time together. - he explained – It doesn't mean anything else.”

Arya blinked, “When I was a kid, I thought Theon was a brother too.”

Jon looked at her, then at Robb, “You two are a bit... clingy.”

Robb's jaw dropped and his eyes widened, “I'm not clingy!”

Arya looked away to avoid replying, Jon stared at the floor, sucking his lips.

“I'm not!”

Arya left the bed and trotted back to her room, just to return a moment after with the most annoyed Sansa – half-dressed, waiting to be let free again, one eye in full make up and the other still naked, – and asked her.

“Do you think Robb and Theon are clingy?”

Sansa looked at Robb, slightly embarrassed, and with the tensest smile, she mumbled, “Well... you are a bit... tenacious in your perpetual... closeness?”

Robb stared at her, betrayed.

“Tu quoque!”

Sansa pouted, then sighed, “Robb, you know that none of us would judge you or love you less if you came out.”

“I'm not... - he looked at Arya - ...that thing.”

Arya raised an eyebrow, “I know gay people exist.”

Jon and Robb gave her a puzzled look and then she just shrugged her shoulders, as if she was bored at the idea of having to explain to these old people the most obvious thing in the universe.

“Asha? - she groaned – It's not like I don't know her and Jeyne are girlfriends.”

Robb seemed to want to complain, but Sansa interrupted him, “And you could also be bi, if you feel like gay is too restrictive for you.”

Jon snorted so hard he almost sprained his nostril, “As if he'd fuck anything whose name doesn't start with “T” and ends with “heon”.”

Robb turned to Jon with his stomach burning in his guts and a sour taste in his mouth.

“I'm not the virgin one here.”

“You're the Virgo. - Jon teased – Also, it's not like I’ve ever seen you with a girl, so how did you lose it exactly?”

“You're always with Theon.”, Sansa agreed.

“Yeah, next step you'll be tossing each other off and...”

Robb's eyes were wide open in horror, his mouth was forcedly shut, but Jon and Sansa still could almost hear him screaming. Sansa's cheeks turned purple, while Arya simply blinked, trying to follow up.

Jon's jaw dropped.

“Oh... my...”

“We were watching a movie! - Robb shouted – It's not the same thing!”

Sansa turned to Arya, “Remember when you wanted to use my make up to draw a skull on your face? Let's go do that now.”.

“But I want to hear how it ends!”, Arya protested.

“With Jon strangled probably, come.”

Robb waited for his sisters to leave and slammed the door shut, turning again to Jon, who did start to fear for his life in that instant.

“It's not the same thing. - Robb insisted, firmly, pointing a very intimidating index – We... we were watching stuff, he got hard, I got hard...you know.”

Jon stared at his brother, emitting the most stretched, groaned whine, “I... guess? But... dude.”

“Oh, c'mon. - Robb laughed it off – Have you and Sam never.... tossed off together?”

“I don't even know how Sam's dong looks like and I hope to never know. - Jon replied, stiffly – He's my friend, it would be awkward to... be there while he masturbates.”

Robb's eyes wandered to the side, “Well...”

Jon raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms, with a wiseacre, smartass look, “Are you telling me it didn't feel not even a bit weird to wank off your cock while your friend wanked off his own? That sounds so straight, yes.”

Robb swallowed a dry gulp and forced himself not to look into Jon's eyes before he could understand that...

Jon squinted his eyes, “...don't tell me you didn't just...”

“We were both hard! - Robb's voice cracked, a bit high – It's called giving each other a hand!”

“No, Robb, it's called heavy petting. - he took a pause, bit his lips – Did... did you just hand touch or did you frot?”

Robb turned the color of his hair, “That is none of your business. - he shouted, breathless, with his voice all hoarse with shame – And it doesn't mean anything.”

Jon didn't seem convinced.

He raised an eyebrow, “If you say so.”

Robb looked away, unsure of what he himself thought about it all.

Jon sighed, then rose up, “Summer is coming. Next week we go away for two months... - he fidgeted a bit, although more with resignation than nervousness – Try to think about this stuff, okay? While you two are forcedly separated.” .

 

*

 

Lips tumid, swollen enough to look like someone punched them. Made to welcome a cock in.

Big shoulders, wide, and arms toned from training. 

“He could lift me or slam me without a flinch.”, Theon thought, with a shiver.

The man raised his shirt, wet from the water flowing out of the garden water pipe, showing a sculpted yet not overly drawn stomach, with strong auburn hairs. He passed a hand over his forehead, brushing away the droplets of sweat, letting out a low moan of relief.

He had long auburn curls, falling over his shoulders, ruffled like a mane, wild and soft.

Theon was sure the thought he had right then was everything except straight.

His lips trembled, “Ah, umh...”

And then the hunk turned to him and smiled, the sweetest smile in the universe and...

“Robb?”

The guy jumped to him and grabbed him, holding him tight, almost squishing him. Did he use to be so strong? Why was he liking it? That pressure on him?

“Theon! - he shouted – I'm so happy to see you! I missed you so fucking much!”

Theon gulped, dry and slow.

“...yes? - he glanced at his chest – Did you start taking steroids?”

“My mom's hometown is amazing. - he laughed – I swam the whole day every day.”

“Well, god bless swimming, then.”, Theon thought not without a thick, dark shame.

Robb smiled again, “And then we went hiking! It was so cool, but, damn, I kept... - he sucked his lips and scratched behind his nape – I... kinda kept wanting you to be there with me, you know?”

Theon felt his knees failing him and he thunderbolted out of Robb's hug.

“Yeah, that's cool. Hm. - he chuckled – But you know, I was kind of busy here, with girls and...”

“Oh. Right.”

Something in Robb's voice sounded like it cracked.

Theon swallowed, his glance keeping falling, magnetized, heavy, on Robb's body.

Robb seemed to notice the gesture, although not its meaning, and gave a big, wide grin.  
“Oh, right. - he moved closer and moved his hand between his and Theon's head – I out-heighted you!”

Theon felt his stomach knot.

Robb was younger than him, so he never thought he would have gotten taller than him like that and bigger. Sure, he was lean, while both Robb's parents were on the tall side, but...

Oh, god, he liked it.

Robb blinked, looking sorry, frowning, “Are you okay?”

“Ah, yeah, I, umh, have to go home.”

“But you just came here. I thought we'd spend the evening together, watching movies and stuff...”

And stuff...

Theon swallowed up dryly, “I have stuff to do, sorry.”

“Stuff meaning someone?”

The pitch in Robb' voice was almost angry and hurt all together. Theon let out a sharp smirk, one of those he gave to other people, not to Robb.

“Maybe, does it matter?”

 

*

 

Robb: hey umh

Robb: i'm sorry for before... idk what i did but whatever it is i didn't mean to hurt you

Theon: Hurt? LOL

Theon: I had other stuff to do, don't be selfcentred :P

Robb: …

Robb: you seem to forget i know you.

Theon: LOL really now

Theon: Anyway, look, I've got a girl here, so can't reply rn. If you're so tense jerk off a bit, Big Jim.

 

Robb threw the mobile against the wall of his room, making it open in two, battery rolling out. He grunted and crossed his arms.

“You're crackling like a coffee machine.”, Jon complained, raising his eyes from his book.

Robb's face was panting and swollen red. His eyes shone, watery, humiliated.

“I hate when he doesn't speak up.”

Jon blinked, frowned, “Are you complaining about Theon? - he mumbled – That's new.”

Robb glared at him, “It's not funny, Jon.”

“Sorry, sorry... - he cleared his voice and then put on a snobby, classy facade and a fake, round voice – What's troubling you, my beloved brother?”

Robb groaned, then stared at him suspiciously.

He sighed, “Nothing much... Theon, I asked him to hang out with me since we’ve just returned from holidays. He came, said hi, looked all upset and left.”

Jon raised an eyebrow, “Did he say why?”

Robb's eyes went downhill, “He had girls or stuff.”

Jon breathed in, the massaged the bridge of his nose, “And how does that make you feel?”

Robb looked away still, stubbornly. His eyes couldn't focus on anything, he felt almost drained.

“I thought... I mean, he had the whole summer for girls. I thought we could spend time together now that I'm here.”

“So, unimportant and like he didn't miss you?”, Jon exemplified.

“Maybe...”

“Robb. - he paused – I know you don't want to hear it, but...”

“I know. - Robb swallowed – I know what you want to imply. I'm jealous.”

Jon raised his eyebrows, surprised, “You seem... less fervent than usual in denying my assumptions.”

Robb's eyes shone in a weak gleam. Almost sad.

He trembled and his glance fell everywhere, avoiding to cross his brother's.

He rubbed his shoulder, awkwardly.

“I... I felt stuff.”

“Hm?”

“When he... when he looked at me. - Robb swallowed – The way he looked at me, it seemed almost... I don't know, for a moment, I thought he was checking me out and I liked it. - he paused – I liked the idea of him checking me out, of him seeing him like that.”

“Oh.”

“And like... - he gulped again – It happened before too, at times, that I'd notice that... well, Theon is sorta pretty, for a guy, I mean, he's cute...”

“I'd suppose so.”

Robb bit his lips, “And... this summer, sometimes... when he was not there I imagined him being with us and swimming with him and rolling with him in the barley and grass.”

Jon stared at Robb's red ears and his chapped, big lips quivering.

“...and to kiss him on the beach?”

Robb didn't reply.

He just nodded, slowly.

Jon breathed in, “So, today meeting him, you sort of thought about that?”

“I, - he swallowed – I saw him, you know,... differently, he was... cute and his hips and waist were so small and when I held him I could smell his scent and... - he scratched his neck, nervously – I never noticed his scent before, but then, that piece on his nape, where he puts his ponytail, it smells so much like him, I wanted to... bite it.”

Jon breathed out.

“How gay.”

“...but he's not.”

“You don't know. - Jon shrugged – You always spent time together, maybe he feels the same but also needs a revelation.”

“I suppose so.”, Robb said with a voice stained in mistrust and hopelessness.

Jon raised an eyebrow, saddened, “Robb. - he paused, looked at his brother, weighted his words – Try to be his friend for now, see how he reacts, behave like nothing happened.”

 

*

 

Yeah, easier said than done.

Theon had basically disappeared.

He was unreachable for a good two days, then when Robb went to his house, he was “at Kyras”, he missed the first days of school and ignored his texts.

“Asha.”, Theon mumbled, entering the kitchen.

Asha was trying to cook something. Not her forte but she decided living off pizza and take away might not have been the best solution.

She turned, “Yes?”

Theon stared at her fingers full of cuts, “Knifeplay usually is funnier.”

She mocked a laugh, “Very funny. - a suspicious eyebrow tilted up – So? What troubles you?”

“Pft, nothing!”, he assured, moving anyway the chair in order to sit right next to her at the table.

“Has your prince returned from the war?”, she asked, with a little smirk on her lips. Provocative and thorny as usual.

Theon's voice sounded sharp and sour, “He grew over summer.”

Asha raised an eyebrow and her grin turned pointy.

“Oh. - she chuckled – Has he become a hunk or something?”

Theon looked at his hands, clenching them, his knuckles getting white, his veins out. “Sorta. - a strained, cracked chuckle – I think we could say so.”

Asha emitted a low snort, “Are you envious or aroused?”

The truth weighed down his tongue like an avalanche.

It felt wrong, it felt stupid and gross and gay, but he had to tell, he had to let it out, he had to wash himself of that thought before it sunk into him, so deep into his skin he could have never gotten rid of it.

It was like a hunger, but deeper – as if famine lasted centuries and left him consumed but he had noticed only then. All of a sudden, all together. His stomach strained, hurt, and he needed to fill it.

He needed Robb. He needed to feel Robb.

But most of all he needed to let out that thought so... so he wouldn’t have done it, so he wouldn't have fallen victim to that stupid hunger. He was his best friend, after all. Just that.

It would have fucked up things.

It would have fucked up him and he would have also lost Robb.

All for a stupid hunger beyond his bones.

“I just.. - he swallowed, felt the tingle of it pinch and stab his apple – I never stared at Robb and thought about him that way.”

“Never, never?”, Asha asked, not convinced at all.

“He... - Theon stared down, unsure of how to complain about it because how to you tell your sister that the dude hugged you and he was so fit and strong that the sudden awareness he could have pinned you to a wall, raised you over his cock and fucked you standing made Theon’s cock twitch electrically at the idea of it happening to him – He doesn't look like a kid anymore.”

“He was not anymore a kid legally since a while.”, Ash pointed out.

“Are you saying this to me or to yourself about Jeyne?”

“She's legal. - Asha grinned – And very consenting.”

“Bah. - Theon groaned – I don't get why you go for the young ones.”

“Well, - she chuckled, wicked – Robb is not exactly a DILF now, is he?”

“Bitch.”

She threw the cut vegetables in a pan, as they shrieked in the bubbling oil, “I know.”

Theon looked down, “What should I do?”

“I think you two are courting the idea of fucking each other since way before this simmer. -she commented, stirring the veggies poorly, some of them started to burn, other were still cold – Just let it happen.”

“Not useful.”, Theon judged her with a groan.

Asha added some beer to the pan, watched it drizzling.

“You need to start taking responsibility for the things you want, Theon, not just for the things others want for you.”

Theon let out a bitter laugh, “That doesn't mean anything.”

Asha groaned, mixing so brutally half of the vegetables spilled out, “Everyone assumed you were together since you were ten, you were always so clingy and attached. Literally nobody would be shocked if it did happen. - she rolled her eyes to the ceiling – Except about how slow you two were in understanding it.”

“Wait, wait, just because I found him hot, doesn't mean I want to fuck him.”

“...who are you and where did you hide my brother?”

“Nor does it mean he would fuck me.”

“...oh, if we just had years and years of thirsty looks and needy touches between you two to give us any clue about it.”

Yes.

And the desire to possess him and to be possessed by him, right then, felt like a wound, nagging and taking space across his stomach, devouring him.

Theon glared at her, “You're just being ridiculous now.”

Asha blinked, “Me? Are you sure I am the one you want to move this accusation to and not, I don't know, the other person in the room?”

Theon crossed his arms, defensively, “Don't do the implying thing.”

“Okay, fine. - she stared at him in the eyes – You want to fuck him, he wants to fuck you. What's stopping you?”

“You literally have no idea if he wants to.”

“Theon. - she looked at him firmly and her eye twitched a bit – You two have been dancing around the idea since years, everyone thinks so.”

Theon shook his head, exasperated, “Forget I said anything. I'll ask someone else.”

She groaned, “Say hi to Sansa for me..”

Like Jesus Fucking Christ, the third day he reappeared. Not to Robb, though.

 

*

 

Sansa used to dream often of a prince charming or a charming thief entering her room from the window, after climbing the big chestnut tree, and knocking on the glass or moving the soft curtains.

She at times even dreamed that prince to be Theon. Or Finn Jones.

She wasn't picky.

God bless Arya and her wanting to watch Superhero TV series.

But something kind of spoils the moment if you see the handsome boy knocking at your window has a very panicky face, clearly is embarrassed up to the tip of his ears and pulls out the fakest charming grin while internally – you know – is thinking about your brother's ass. 

She opened the window and raised an understanding eyebrow.

“Do you need help or did the squirrel life chose you?”

“Did you borrow Asha's sarcasm? - he chuckled, then looked so vulnerable for a moment she felt sorry – Can we talk a sec?”

“Robb had been an unbearable, gloomy, annoyed mop since days, I'm supposing this has to do with that.”, she commented, letting him in and closing her door too.

Theon entered and looked around. He put his hands in his pockets and started to swing slightly, balancing himself on his heels.

“Perhaps. - he mumbled – I see you ditched your dolls.”

“Since years. - she smiled – You know, you're almost cute when you're awkward.”

“I'm always cute.”

Sansa opened a cat shaped jar and placed it on the bed, sitting. Theon looked into it and fished out a small chocolate praline, while sitting next to her.

“My sister says hi.”, he squeaked, low-voiced.

Sansa put in her mouth a praline and started sucking it, letting the sweet melt on her tongue.

“What afflicts you?”

“Robb... has... - he swallowed, his eyes travelled to the wall shared with his room – He really grew up this summer.”

“You'd think someone older than him would be informed about the miracles of puberty. - she commented – What is it? You liked him only when he looked younger?”

There was in her a little thorn of anger.

Theon shook his head, before quickly, then slowly, as if it got heavier. He passed his hand on his neck and sighed.

“It seems like you all were convinced we were... something we're not.”

Sansa's eyes softened but her voice was still slightly stiff, “It seems more like you didn't know what you already clearly were.”

“Robb and I, you know...”

“You know he spent the summer thinking and talking about you? - she raised an eyebrow, confused – We barely had internet over there, he kept spending money to talk to you in other ways. He didn't call anyone else.”

Theon made a little strangled croak.

“Well, I didn't know.”

“He can be without anyone, but not you. He can't give that up. - she seemed to be scolding him but her hand was on his leg, gently caressing it – And he returns and you don't even come here?”

“Look, it's not like I'm different!”, he shouted.

She blinked, surprised.

Theon seemed angry at the insinuation of him not needing Robb.

“Then?”

“I don't... - he let out a defeated groan – I don't know if he feels like I do and, even if he did, there's no guarantee I wouldn't fuck it up. - he looked distressed and whined – I fuck and go, Sansa, I don't like... stay, I don't know how to speak to a human being and also have sex with it.”

Sansa sucked her lips, looking down.

“Theon. - she held his hand, sweetly – I don't know how to say this... in the most delicate way...”

“Just say it.”, he shook his head, weak.

Sansa raised her eyebrow, then sighed, “You're really a bit maladjusted.”

He turned towards her, his jaw dropped, his eyes wide.

“That was mean!”

“...misfit was the alternative. - she defended herself, softly, showing an awkward smile – Like, it didn't even occur to you that... it would have been easier to be close intimately to someone who's a friend than a stranger in G-string?”

Theon paused. He squinted his eyes.

“...this doesn't make sense.”

She patted his back, gently, “You know, I think the cute thing is... Robb is as much a maladjusted creature as you are, just... in an opposite way. - he looked at her, surprised by that apparent harshness but her face was so soft he found himself listening to her more – He always ends up doing what he should do, you do the opposite. He lets his emotions disappear, you don't know the meaning of the term responsibilities... he is confident, practical, looks to the future, you are a scrapbook of the past and insecurities artistically painted all over that beautiful and damned James Dean thing you have going on.”

“...I still don't know if you're mocking us or complimenting us, but now I really see how much of your mom there is in you.”

She smiled, caressed his hair.

“He needs a bit of the sea and you need a bit of the earth.”

“...are you reading too many zodiac books again?”

She stuck out her tongue, just the tip, like a kitten, then smiled.

“Try to give him a try. I know you're scared to be hurt. - she caressed his arm, gently – But... I think that if you love someone and you're not living fully it, you risk to just waste away the best part of life.”

“You're too much of a romantic.”

She smirked, “And who's the one who showed me Casablanca the first time, then again?”

Theon puffed his cheeks, breathed out and looked at the wall again.

The wall of Robb's room.

He remembered that movie night, spent commenting boobs, then staring at Robb, Robb staring at him – they spoke about boobs a bit longer, Robb's hand tight around his cock, his own fisting his cockhead to the edge. The way Robb said his name, before coming, the way he himself grunted, bucking into his hand... it all came back to him, hit him in the nape like a slap.

Sansa curled up her lips, “You should go say hi.”

 

*

 

“Whoa. - he commented, leaning a shoulder onto the doorstep, crossing his legs slightly – What a nerd.”

Robb raised his hand from his palm, then turned, staring at Theon. His eyes went wide, then he forced himself to show some composure, bit his lip and turned again towards the screen.

“Well, you were not here, so I thought I'd use the time to watch a movie without tits around.”

Theon's grin tilted and curled up, he moved and sat next to Robb on the bed.

“Is this before or after Liv Tyler lying on the bed half dead?”

Robb groaned, stopped the movie and turned to him, “What do you want?”

Theon considered explaining it all: his feelings and fears and how hot Robb had gotten and how undeniable things were and his father and his brothers and how he still remembered their slaps when he got a headache and how he hated being vulnerable because to them it was just funny and his sister and his own and Sansa's chocolate smile and Asha's blunt tongue. He considered starting from the start.

He moved a hand on Robb's chest, caressing it slowly.

Robb didn't move away. He just swallowed, dry, staring at him, a gleam in his eyes dancing like a flame in the wind, his heartbeat running like a scared horse.

Theon stared for a long time at the peck, as if he needed some more time to decode it, then caressed the nipple, ever so slightly, making Robb twitch but not move away. Sweat made the thin, white fabric softer, and Theon thought that, fuck, he liked that smell, that muggy, murky, musky scent.

He licked his lips slowly, then they quivered.

He tried to speak, but couldn't find the words.

Robb's hand was on his ear, he cupped it, held it and the soft black, long hair. Robb's eyes glowed smouldering and scorching in the purest blue, as he closed them, swallowed as if he was about to swim with sharks and bent forward. 

He parted his lips, and caught Theon's in his own. Softly.

It was slow and yet lasted so little.

Theon's lips burnt with the sweetest taste. He was used to tongues, bites, anger, passion, and then in that moment, he felt himself melting over the softest touch. Robb barely pressed his lips with his own, he didn't enter his mouth, he pressed on it, carefully caressed it with his bottom lip and just slightly tasted the wet taste of Theon's need. Then he moved away, just as slowly.

His breath trembled, a little moan, almost a sob, escaped his throat.

Theon's lips quivered as he pulled Robb's face down again, pushing his mouth open and sinking into it with his tongue. Fuck it, he tasted like food. He felt good. He felt like fucking paradise burning low.

Robb's hands moved around him, wrapped around his back and waist, kept him close.

Theon smiled into the kiss, as Robb moved forward, this time pushing into his mouth and claiming control. Robb grunted, stiffened and Theon grinned.

He felt Robb's hands under his shirt, searching through inches of naked shivering skin, to touch, to test if he was real.

Theon almost laughed. Genuinely, fresh, neurotically open. He smiled into the kiss and caught Robb's lips back one, two, three times as he parted to ask.

He smiled of such a stupid, unstoppable happiness, he was sure if Robb had moved away from his face, he would have shattered to pieces, held together by nothing anymore. Light passed through him.

Robb chuckled, moved a hand to his cheek again, swallowed hard, “...I’ve been wondering how it'd feel since a while.”

“Should have asked.”, Theon raised his eyebrows, eyes still firmly nailed on Robb's big lips.

Robb shook his head slowly, as if he couldn't grasp it.

“I thought that we were just...”

“I thought so too. - Theon smiled, then shrugged – Turns out I'm not the only idiot here.”

“Two in distress make sorrow less...”, Robb suggested, with a smile pulling the corner of his mouth high and wide and his eyes closing, as he moved forward again.

“Hm. - Theon welcomed Robb's lips and tongue, moving slowly against him, to accompany his movements, then parting and caressing the slight, red stubble growing on him – Nerd.”

“I... - Robb smiled, then coughed, scoffed, shook his head, smiled wider – I fucking like you.”

“I think I do too.”, Theon mumbled, softly, his thumb caressing Robb's big lips.

Robb held him tighter, “Do you still have doubts?”

“Hm. - he faked thinking about it, letting his index finger’s fingertip draw little circles on Robb's chest – Has this... growth sprout had effect on all of you?”

Robb's smile turned naughty.

“Now, that's a thing you should check more than ask, don't you think?”

 


End file.
